ristaking

By : Ristaking

Sejarah Psikoterapi :

Psikoterapi berawal dari upaya menyembuhkan pasien yang menderita penyakit jiwa

-        berabad-abad yang lalu

orientasi mistik merupakan upaya mengusir roh jahat dengan cara tidak manusiawi (mengisolasi, mengikat, memasung, memukul, menyakiti, dan melobangi tengkorak kepala/Trepanasi)

-        Philipe Pinel

Melakukan pendekatan bersifat manusiawi, yang berorientasi kasih sayang (love oriented approach) dengan mendirikan asylum (rumah seperti benteng untuk penampungan orang-orang dengan gangguan mental)

-        Anton Mesmer

Mempergunakan teknik hypnosis  & sugesti, teknik hypnosis kemudian digunakan oleh Jean Martin Charcot

-        Paul Dubois

Merumuskan & menekankan peranan penting teknik berbicara (speech technique, talking cure) yang digunakan kepada pasien. Paul Dubois tercatat sebagai “The First Psychotherapiest“

-        Joseph Breuer (senior dari Sigmund Freud) & Sigmund Freud

-        menggunakan teknik hypnosis & teknik berbicara dalam upaya menyembuhkan pasien2 histeria

-        Pada Breuer à talking cure dilakukan terhadap pasien dalam keadaan hypnosis

Pada Sigmund Freud à talking cure dilakukan terhadap pasien dalam keadaan sadar (merupakan cikal bakal lahirnya psikoanalisis)

Source : Psikoterapi History

By : Ristaking

Source : Amber Madison, BettyConfidential

From changes in behavior to mysterious disappearances, signs that your guy could be stepping out on you. It’s every woman’s worst relationship fear – that her man is cheating. We’ve all heard the statistic: half of all men cheat. And some experts say that number is even closer to three quarters. Could it be happening to you? Aside from finding lipstick on his collar, a mysterious condom in his pocket or, yes, a phone number on a napkin (helpful hints but unlikely clichés!), there are some red flags to watch out for to tip you off that something fishy might be going on. The following are six signs that should raise your eyebrows:

1. He’s Acting Differently.
The most telltale sign of a cheating man is that he’s acting differently than the way he used to. If any of the signals below describe your guy’s usual actions, don’t freak out and immediately assume he’s having an affair; he’s probably just being his quirky self. What you should be suspicious of is new developments, says Barbara Feld, LCSW, a couple’s therapist at Park Avenue Relationship Consultants in New York City. She says you should ask yourself, “Is what’s happening different than normal? Is he showing a real change in behavior?” If he’s always been private, hasn’t ever had the highest sex drive, or often flakes out on plans, that’s just who he is. It’s when he starts to be that way and never was before that you should start asking questions.

2. He’s Avoiding You.
If your guy has suddenly started coming home much later, seems to be making excuses to be out of the house, starts going away with out you on the weekends, or just generally seems to be avoiding you, that’s a clear indication of trouble in your relationship. M. Gary Neuman, a licensed family counselor and the author of “The Truth About Cheating” found that 61 percent of cheating men said they started spending more time away from home. 55 percent of men about to cheat said the same thing. No matter how busy your guy may be, he should be making an effort to see you (because, hello – he loves you, right?). If he’s stopped making time for you, it’s not at all unreasonable to wonder if he’s making time for someone else.

3. You’re Having Less/Different Sex.
You might think that cheating men stop sleeping with their partners completely. But that’s not always the case. According to M. Gary Neuman, a little less than half of cheating men report having less sex with their partner. Others keep having sex so that they don’t raise suspicions – sneaky b—— s. So be alert to the amount of sex you’re having, but most of all, pay attention to the quality of the sex. Therapist Barbara Feld says sometimes when a guy is having an affair, the quantity of sex remains the same, but it’s the sex itself that changes. Maybe it used to be very romantic, and feel more like making love, and now it just feels like plain old sex.

4. His General Response to You Has Changed.
If a guy is having an affair, he may stop acting like the sweet, romantic man you fell in love with. Maybe he used to be very loving and kind towards you, but now he seems to get annoyed easily, be critical, or pick fights. If he’s consistently not being affectionate with you, don’t brush it off. Try to figure out why he’s different – and what could be distracting him, or making him feel guilty.

5. He Has Suddenly Become Very Private.
It’s just not normal for your guy to always go into a different room to answer calls, keep his cell phone in his car, or get really private about his bills (unless, of course, your man is a privacy freak and you knew that going in). But if he suddenly stops checking his e-mail in front of you, has turned the bathroom into a phone booth, and has redirected the bills to his office, it’s a fair guess than an affair is under way.

6. He is Unreliable
Quite simply, says Barbara Feld, “is he where he says he will be?” If he’s never where he says he’s going to be, it’s a certain sign he’s lying to you about something. Maybe he says he’ll be at the office, but you call and he’s not there. Or he says he’s with a friend, and that friend then calls looking for him. Everyone’s plans change sometimes, but if your guy is consistently not where he says he will be, it’s very possible it’s because he’s with another woman.

What to Do?
If your guy is showing any of these six signs, talk with him about it. Tell him things feel different than they used to, and you want to know what’s going on. “If he tells you everything is fine but you know it’s not, continue to pursue the issue,” says Barbara Feld. “You can also suggest, ‘let’s talk to someone together,’ and get couples therapy.”

Don’t turn a blind eye on your relationship. If things are bad, getting bad, or just feel strange, do something about it. Even if you guy isn’t having an affair, all the signs above could be signals that he’s about to. By addressing – and working with him to fix – whatever is going on in your relationship, you can prevent an affair from ever happening in the first place. If you’re noticing negative changes or problems in your relationship, address them now, while they’re still small. Maintaining a strong relationship with open communication is one of the best things you can do to ensure fidelity-both on his part, and on yours.

Betty’s Sexpert Amber Madison is a sex educator and author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and Talking With Your Kids About Sex.

MEMBUAT SURAT LAMARAN KERJA

By : Ristaking

Kemampuan membuat surat lamaran kerja dan riwayat hidup angat diperlukan oleh setiap angkatan kerja, terlebih lagi buat ara lulusan perguruan tinggi baru (fresh graduates). Membuat urat lamaran kerja dan riwayat hidup merupakan langkah awal seorang calon professional mendapatkan pekerjaan yang diinginkan.

Surat lamaran kerja pada dasarnya merupakan surat permohonan untuk dipertimbangkan untuk mendapatkan pekerjaan. Surat lamaran kerja haruslah dapat menjual, karena mewakili diri sendiri dihadapan pihak pemberi kerja.

Surat lamaran kerja harus disertai resume atau riwayat hidup sebagai bagian yang tidak terpisahkan. Riwayat hidup berisi tentang uraian data pribadi, riwayat pendidikan, riwayat pekerjaan, aktifitas sosial, penghargaan dan hal-hal lain yang berkaitan dengan informasi mengenai riwayat diri yang berkaitan dengan dunia profesional.

Seperti halnya surat lamaran kerja, riwayat hidup mewakili diri kita sendiri. Menjelaskan gambaran mengenai siapa kita secara professional. Riwayat hidup yang baik adalah yang bersifat informatif, jelas, dapat menggambarkan diri secara positif dan jujur, sehingga diharapkan dapat “menjual”.

A. PENGERTIAN SURAT LAMARAN KERJA

Surat lamaran kerja adalah surat yang digunakan untuk melamar pekerjaan dan biasanya dilengkapi dengan riwayat hidup. Dalam surat lamaran kerja yang harus anda tulis dan jelaskan adalah kemampuan-kemampuan yang dimiliki oleh pelamar sesuai dengan posisi atau jabatan pekerjaan yang ditawarkan oleh perusahaan. Dalam surat lamaran anda hanya menuliskan poin-poin penting yang sesuai dengan persyaratan pekerjaan.

Dalam menulis surat lamaran juga dapat dilakukan dengan pendekatan AIDA, yaitu: Attention, Interest, desire, dan Action, dengan perincian sebagai berikut:

1. Attention (perhatian).

Prinsip pertama dalam penulisan surat lamaran adalah menarik perhatian artinya pelamar kerja harus dapat meyakinkan kepada pembaca bahwa anda memiliki sesuatu yang bermanfaat atau dapat menumbuhkan rasa tertarik bagi pembacanya.

2. Interest (menarik)

Prinsip kedua dalam penulisan surat lamaran kerja adalah interest (menarik) artinya bahwa dalam penulisan surat lamaran kerja harus dapat menarik perhatian pembaca dengan menjelaskan relevansi pesan-pesan yang anda sampaikan dalam surat lamaran kerja kepada pembaca. Maksudnya pelamar menjelaskan relevansi kemampuan yang dimiliki dengan kualifikasi yang dibutuhkan oleh pemberi lowongan.

3. Desire (hasrat)

Prinsip ketiga dalam penulisan surat lamaran kerja adalah desire (hasrat), artinya bahwa dalam penulisan surat lamaran kerja anda harus dapat menumbuhkan hasrat pembaca untuk dapat mengetahui lebih jauh terhadap apa yang sudah pelamar tuliskan dalam surat lamaran kerja.

4. Action (tindakan)

Prinsip ke empat dalam penulisan surat lamaran kerja adalah action (tindakan) artinya bahwa dalam penulisan surat lamaran kerja pelamar harus dapat memberikan saran kepada pembaca untuk mengambil suatu tindakan tertentu yang berkaitan dengan harapan pelamar kerja dalam menulis surat lamaran kerja.

B. PENGORGANISASIAN SURAT LAMARAN KERJA

Secara umum pengorganisasian penulisan surat lamaran kerja memiliki tiga bagian utama, yaitu: paragraf pembuka, paragraf pertengahan dan paragraf penutup. Masing-masing paragraf tersebut dapat dijelaskan sebagai berikut: .

1) Paragraf pembuka

Surat lamara kerja harus menyatakan secara jelas bahwa anda sedang melamar suatu pekerjaan, karenanya dalam surat lamaran anda perlu mengidentifikasikan jenis pekerjaan yang anda minati. Surat lamaran yang baik perlu mencamtumkan hal-hal sebagai berikut dalam bagian pembukaannya:

a. Rangkuman

Pada bagian awal surat lamaran kerja kemukakan kualifikasi yang anda miliki, yang paling relevan dengan jabatan atau posisi yang diinginkan dan jelaskan bahwa kualifikasi tersebut akan menguntungkan/ memberikan manfaat bagi perusahaan atau lembaga yang anda lamar.

b. Nama referensi

Anda dapat menyebutkan nama seseorang yang sudah dikenal oleh pembaca (yang menawarkan kerja) atau seseorang yang menyarankan anda untuk melamar pekerjaan di perusahaan atau lembaga tersebut.

c. Sumber publikasi

Sebutkan dari mana anda mendapatkan informasi tentang adanya lowongan kerja di perusahaan tersebut. Sumber informasi ini antara lain: surat kabar, majalah, radio, dan lain-lain.

d. Pertanyaan

Gunakan kalimat tanya pada awal paragraf untuk menarik perhatian pembaca yang menunjukkan bahwa anda mengetahui masalah, kebutuhan, dan tujuan suatu organisasi, dan anda mempunyai keinginan untuk membantu memecahkan masalah tersebut. Hal ini akan memberikan manfaat bagi pembaca.

e. Cuplikan berita

Dalam kalimat pembuka anda dapat mengambil cuplikan berita surat kabar atau majalah dimana suatu perusahaan sedang merencanakan membuka kantor cabang atau memperkenalkan produk baru atau memerlukan tenaga operator dan sebagainya.

2) Paragraf pertengahan

Dalam paragraf pertengahan anda perlu menyajikan kualifikasi diri anda untuk suatu pekerjaan yang anda inginkan. Kemudian usahakan kejelasan dalam paragraf ini benar-benar diminati (interest) dan sangat diharapkan (desire) oleh pembaca. Penyajian kualifikasi diri melihat dari sudut pandang yang mencakup:

a. Pendidikan

Pada bagian pendidikan menunjukkan bahwa anda mempunyai latar belakang dalam dunia ilmu wawasan yang cukup luas dan bidang tertentu yang cukup luas, kemudian menjelaskan bagaimana pendidikan kita relevan dengan perkerjaan yang anda cari.

b. Pengalaman kerja

Berbagai jenis pekerjaan yang anda pernah lakukan terutama yang berhubungan dengan pekerjaan yang anda lamar, akan membantu memperkuat kualifikasi anda. Dalam hal ini, pelamar perlu menyatakan secara jelas berbagai fungsi atau kegiatan yang dapat plamar lakukan. Atas dasar itu pelamar dapat menunjukkan kepada calon pemberi kerja, bahwa :

-Anda memperoleh suatu pengalaman yang dapat membantu mempercepat penyelesaian pekerjaan

-Anda akan dapat melakukan adaptasi dengan lingkungan baru anda dan bekerja sama dengan mereka

-Anda dapat memikul tanggungjawab suatu pekerjaan dengan baik

-Anda adalah orang yang mampu bekerja keras

c. Sikap, minat dan kualitas

Disini anda dapat memberikan informasi tambahan bahwa anda dapat bekerja sama dengan orang lain, kemudian sikap anda terhadap bidang pekerjaan, perusahaan, suasana kerja dan kualitas personal (kegiatan ekstra kurikuler dan sebagainya).

3) Paragraf penutup

Pada paragraph terakhir dari surat lamaran kerja anda umumnya berisi harapan tindakan dari pembaca atau perusahaan. Jelaskan pada paragraf penutup bahwa anda dapat melakukan wawancara sesuai dengan waktu yang telah disediakan oleh organisasi perusahaan atau lembaga yang dilamar.

C. HAL-HAL YANG HARUS PELAMAR HINDARI

Berikut ini beberapa hal yang harus dihindari pelamar dalam menulis surat lamaran kerja:

1) Jangan melamar pekerjaan diluar kemapuan si pelamar sendiri

2) Jangan mengirimkan surat lamaran foto copy

3) Jangan mengatakan bahwa anda menerima pekerjaan apa saja

4) Hindari kata-kata bombastis

5) Jangan meminta belas kasihan dari calon pemberi kerja (perusahaan)

6) Hindari untuk mempertanyakan gaji duluan

7) Jangan memberi komentar langsung tentang karakter anda

CONTOH LAMARAN

1) Contoh surat lamaran dalam bahasa Indonesia:

Bandung, 2 Juli 2008

Kepada Yth.

Manager HRD

PO BOX 007

Jakarta, 10100

Dengan hormat,

Iklan Bapak/Ibu di Kompasiana tanggal 30 Juni 2008 mengenai lowongan untuk posisi Sales Manager di perusahaan Bapak/Ibu menarik perhatian saya, karena saya memiliki kualifikasi yang dipersyaratkan untuk posisi tersebut. Disamping mempunyai latarbelakang pendidikan yang mendukung, saya juga mempunyai pengalaman 3 tahun sebagai seorang Sales Manager.

Saya berusia 26 tahun, menikah, dan memiliki kesehatan yang sangat baik yang memadai. Saya lulusan STEKPI School of Business and Management dengan IPK 3.85. Disamping itu saya telah menyelesaikan pendidikan bahasa Inggris saya di English Learning sampai tingkat advance English.

Pada saat ini saya adalah seorang Sales Manager di sebuah perusaahan nasional yang bergerak dibidang kosmetik dan sudah bekerja selama 2 tahun. Saya mencari kesempatan kerja yang lebih menantang, untuk memperluas wawasan dan pengalaman sebagaimana yang ditawarkan oleh perusahaan Bapak/Ibu.

Saya sangat gembira jika Bapak/Ibu berkenan mempertimbangkan prestasi dan kualifikasi saya. Saya bersedia untuk diwawancarai kapan saja sesuai dengan waktu Bapak/Ibu.

Hormat saya,

xxxxxxxxxx

2) Contoh surat lamaran kerja dalam bahasa Inggris:

Jakarta, August 2, 2008

Ms. Marilyn Summer

Director of Administration

PT. Circle Indonesia

Jakarta.

Dear Ms. Summer,

Based on several years of marketing experience, I wish to apply for the position of regional sales manager. My back ground includes sales and administration knowledge that would benefit your organization.

During my year at PT Doran Indonesia, sales in my territory expanded at an annual rate of ten percent. After four years of the job, I was given the additional responsibility of training our new sales personnel. This experience has prepared me to coordinate the effort of the entire West Java sales force.

I hope we can meet in the immediate future to discuss my qualifications in detail. Please contact me during business hours at 021-554433. I lookforward to contributing my knowledge and expertise to the continued success of your organization.

Sincerely,

xxxxxxxx

Source : Purwanto, Joko. 2006. Komunikasi Bisnis. Jakarta,

Penerbit Erlangga

Welcome to my blog….

In this section all of u will have much experience and knowledge about psychology, management, love, or other things that could happen to ur life…

I hope this blog will be useful to others…especialy for community students of sebelas maret university…

All of u can share and comment me at this blog…anything about ur life…maybe we can discus more…

Regards,

Arista Adi Nugroho a.k.a. Ristaking

By : Ristaking (Career Planer on Recruitment and Training Divission CDC UNS)

In a tight job market, what you wear to an interview could be the difference between getting an offer and getting rejected.

“By not really investing in your appearance, it can actually cost you the job”

Nine out of 10 employers say, when all else is equal, they select the most attractive candidate, or the candidate that presents themselves the best.”

Here are six style tips to ensure your look is a career asset, not a liability.

1. Create Your ‘Visual’ Resume

Make sure your attire is sending the right message about your capabilities..
“Shift your thought pattern on dressing from a fashionista type of approach to one tied to competency, communication, respect, and appropriate boundary-setting, You don’t have to be boring, but you do have to think about it.”
2. Suit Up

Unless you’re told otherwise, always wear a suit to a first interview,

For women, a pantsuit is no longer a fashion don’t, and is as acceptable as the traditional skirted “power suit.”

“A suit is a sign of respect for the company, as well as the person interviewing you, always better to be overdressed than underdressed.”
3. The Rules Apply

Knowing an office’s “rules” — whether written or not — is critical, especially for younger job seekers..A young guy who doesn’t wear socks to an interview at a financial firm won’t be taken seriously, while a young woman should be careful not to bare too much skin.
3. ‘Mad’ for Tradition

More than one in three people say their workplace has gotten more formal over the past 12 months, according to a recent Yahoo! HotJobs poll.

But while the fitted suits and skinny ties made popular by the retro TV series “Mad Men” can work in most office settings, it’s important not to go overboard.

“You don’t want people to stop and stare,”You need to understand the balance between looking trendy and looking current.”
4. Put Your Best Foot Forward

Clothes may make the man, but beware the wrong shoes, especially if they’re unpolished.

“When you look at men’s shoes, if they’re square toed, chunky, or have rubber soles, that completely dismantles the whole appearance”

5. Stretch Your Fashion Budget

If your budget doesn’t allow for major purchases, recommends maksimum spending IDR 200.000 on tailoring to update key pieces or improve their fit.

Another wallet-friendly purchase is a basic dark suit, which doesn’t show wear and tear and can be worn with different ties or accessories to first, second, and third interviews.

6. Finally, weed out anything you’re not wearing on a regular basis.

“Shop in your closet first,”  “Wear 20 percent of what’s in there 80 percent of the time. Give yourself permission to get rid of that other 80 percent. Turn it into cash by selling it, or give it to charity.”

Hope that are useful…jobseeker viewer..

By : Ristaking (Center Study of Sexual Health/PSKS LPPM UNS)

From changes in behavior to mysterious disappearances, signs that your guy could be stepping out on you.

It’s every woman’s worst relationship fear – that her man is cheating. We’ve all heard the statistic: half of all men cheat. And some experts say that number is even closer to three quarters. Could it be happening to you? Aside from finding lipstick on his collar, a mysterious condom in his pocket or, yes, a phone number on a napkin (helpful hints but unlikely clichés!), there are some red flags to watch out for to tip you off that something fishy might be going on. The following are six signs that should raise your eyebrows:

1. He’s Acting Differently.
The most telltale sign of a cheating man is that he’s acting differently than the way he used to. If any of the signals below describe your guy’s usual actions, don’t freak out and immediately assume he’s having an affair; he’s probably just being his quirky self. What you should be suspicious of is new developments, says Barbara Feld, LCSW, a couple’s therapist at Park Avenue Relationship Consultants in New York City. She says you should ask yourself, “Is what’s happening different than normal? Is he showing a real change in behavior?” If he’s always been private, hasn’t ever had the highest sex drive, or often flakes out on plans, that’s just who he is. It’s when he starts to be that way and never was before that you should start asking questions.

2. He’s Avoiding You.
If your guy has suddenly started coming home much later, seems to be making excuses to be out of the house, starts going away with out you on the weekends, or just generally seems to be avoiding you, that’s a clear indication of trouble in your relationship. M. Gary Neuman, a licensed family counselor and the author of “The Truth About Cheating” found that 61 percent of cheating men said they started spending more time away from home. 55 percent of men about to cheat said the same thing. No matter how busy your guy may be, he should be making an effort to see you (because, hello – he loves you, right?). If he’s stopped making time for you, it’s not at all unreasonable to wonder if he’s making time for someone else.

3. You’re Having Less/Different Sex.
You might think that cheating men stop sleeping with their partners completely. But that’s not always the case. According to M. Gary Neuman, a little less than half of cheating men report having less sex with their partner. Others keep having sex so that they don’t raise suspicions – sneaky b—— s. So be alert to the amount of sex you’re having, but most of all, pay attention to the quality of the sex. Therapist Barbara Feld says sometimes when a guy is having an affair, the quantity of sex remains the same, but it’s the sex itself that changes. Maybe it used to be very romantic, and feel more like making love, and now it just feels like plain old sex.

4. His General Response to You Has Changed.
If a guy is having an affair, he may stop acting like the sweet, romantic man you fell in love with. Maybe he used to be very loving and kind towards you, but now he seems to get annoyed easily, be critical, or pick fights. If he’s consistently not being affectionate with you, don’t brush it off. Try to figure out why he’s different – and what could be distracting him, or making him feel guilty.

5. He Has Suddenly Become Very Private.
It’s just not normal for your guy to always go into a different room to answer calls, keep his cell phone in his car, or get really private about his bills (unless, of course, your man is a privacy freak and you knew that going in). But if he suddenly stops checking his e-mail in front of you, has turned the bathroom into a phone booth, and has redirected the bills to his office, it’s a fair guess than an affair is under way.

6. He is Unreliable
Quite simply, says Barbara Feld, “is he where he says he will be?” If he’s never where he says he’s going to be, it’s a certain sign he’s lying to you about something. Maybe he says he’ll be at the office, but you call and he’s not there. Or he says he’s with a friend, and that friend then calls looking for him. Everyone’s plans change sometimes, but if your guy is consistently not where he says he will be, it’s very possible it’s because he’s with another woman.

What to Do?
If your guy is showing any of these six signs, talk with him about it. Tell him things feel different than they used to, and you want to know what’s going on. “If he tells you everything is fine but you know it’s not, continue to pursue the issue,” says Barbara Feld. “You can also suggest, ‘let’s talk to someone together,’ and get couples therapy.”

Don’t turn a blind eye on your relationship. If things are bad, getting bad, or just feel strange, do something about it. Even if you guy isn’t having an affair, all the signs above could be signals that he’s about to. By addressing – and working with him to fix – whatever is going on in your relationship, you can prevent an affair from ever happening in the first place. If you’re noticing negative changes or problems in your relationship, address them now, while they’re still small. Maintaining a strong relationship with open communication is one of the best things you can do to ensure fidelity-both on his part, and on yours.

Source : Betty’s Sexpert Amber Madison is a sex educator and author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and Talking With Your Kids About Sex.

By : Ristaking (Psychology Department Medical Faculty Sebelas Maret University)

Banyak laki-laki yang mempercayai mitos bahwa ukuranlah yang menentukan atau mempengaruhi kualitas hubungan seksual. Mereka percaya semakin besar ukuran penis pada laki-laki, maka kepuasan dalam hal seksual akan lebih mudah tercapai. Namun bagi kaum perempuan, sebenarnya kekerasan penis saat ereksilah yang dapat memberikan kepuasan.

Ukuran rata-rata panjang normal penis laki-laki adalah 8,5 sampai 10 cm. Sedangkan besar atau panjang penis laki-laki ketika mengalami ereksi sekitar 14 sampai dengan 18 cm. Pada umumnya para laki-laki lupa bahwa besar atau panjang dari ukuran penis tidaklah berpengaruh, karena biar bagaimanapun ukuran vagina dari perempuan sangat elastis dan akan menyesuaikan besar serta panjang dari ukuran penis laki-laki pasangannya. Kedalaman normal dari lubang vagina perempuan yang belum melahirkan adalah 7,5 cm, dan ketika perempuan terangsang secara seksual ukuran dari kedalaman lubang vagina hanya dapat mencapai 10 cm. Hal ini berarti, pada umumnya setiap laki-laki dapat memuaskan pasangannya, tidak berpengaruh dari ukuran besar maupun panjang penisnya.

Terdapat sebuah pertanyaan, bagaimana dengan penis laki-laki yang memiliki ukuran diatas rata-rata ataupun sebaliknya, bagaimana apabila ukuran penis dibawah rata-rata? Tidak perlu dirisaukan karena selain telah dipaparkan sebelumnya bahwa vagina perempuan sangatlah elastis dan dapat menyesuaikan ukuran penis, juga terlebih lagi vagina pada perempuan apabila dilakukan proses penetrasi secara perlahan maka kedalaman lubang vagina tersebut dapat memanjang sebesar 100% hingga 200% dari ukuran normal.

Pada tema diatas didukung pula oleh penelitian Pfizer yang melakukan survey bernama Global Better Sex pada tahun 2006, penelitian tersebut dilakukan terhadap 12.558 laki-laki dan perempuan dari 27 negara, penelitian tersebut mengungkapkan serta menyimpulkan bahwa untuk mendapatkan kepuasan dalam berhubungan seksual, dibutuhkan tingkat kekerasan ereksi yang optimal. Hasilnya adalah sebagai berikut, 2/3 laki-laki (65%) dan 66% perempuan merasa sangat puas karena ereksi dari penis yang keras, sehingga kehidupan cinta dan asmara mereka memuaskan. Selain itu, hanya 2/3 (65%) laki-laki yang dapat mempertahankan kekerasan ereksi ketika mereka berhubungan seksual dengan pasangannya. Hal ini mungkin disebabkan karena terjadinya ereksi sub-optimal dimana penis cukup keras untuk melakukan penetrasi namun tidask sepenuhnya tegang, sehingga menyebabkan baik laki-laki maupun perempuan mengalami ketidakpuasan seksual. Dari hasil survey penelitian ini dapat disimpulkan bahwa tingkat kekerasan penis saat ereksi sama pentingnya dengan kemampuan laki-laki untuk mempertahankan ereksi itu sendiri ketika berhubungan seksual.

Hal tersebut senada pula diungkapkan oleh seorang androlog dan ahli kemandulan pria serta seksualitas dr. Heru H. Oentoeng (RS. Siloam Kebun Jeruk Jakarta) yang mengatakan bahwa “Mencapai ereksi itu lebih mudah daripada mempertahankannya, sehingga mempertahankan kekerasan penis sangat penting dalam berhubungan seksual”. Tingkat kekerasan ereksi optimal adalah dimana penis sepenuhnya keras sehingga mampu melakukan penetrasi ke vagina, serta mampu mempertahankan penetrasi tersebut hingga tercapainyaorgasme bagi kedua belah pihak.

Full set menu ibarat dalam hidangan makanan juga semestinya diperhatikan pula dalam hal hubungan seksual dan untuk mencapai ereksi optimal, dimana didalamnya terdapat appetizer (menu pembuka), main course (menu utama), serta dessert (menu penutup). Untuk mencapai tingkat kekerasan ereksi yang optimal dibutuhkan stimuli atau rangsangan yang baik, foreplay (pemanasan atau pembuka) yang cukup sebelum melakukan intercourse (penetrasi) akan memudahkan laki-laki untuk mencapai tingkat kekerasan ereksi optimal dan juga mempertahankannya.

Halangan terbesar dalam mencapai tingkat kekerasan ereksi optimal adalah disfungsi ereksi (DE). Disfungsi ereksi (DE) adalah ketidakmampuan untuk mencapai dan atau untuk mempertahankan ereksi yang sesuai waktu, dimana hal tersebut dibutuhkan dalam melakukan hubungan seks yang akan memuaskan kedua belah pihak. Di Indonesia, terdapat 10-15% laki-laki yang telah menikah mengalami DE dan sekitar 10-20% mengalami ejakulasi dini. Menurut survey tahun 2000, penderita DE dan ejakulasi dini menimpa kalangan eksekutif usia 26-60 tahun.

Secara umum DE dapat diobati, dimana salah satunya adalah dengan obat medis Phospo Diesterase tipe-5 (PDE-5 inhibitor), selain itu membiasakan hidup sehat, olah raga teratur, cukup asupan gizi, dan menghindari konsumsi rokok serta alkohol diyakini dapat menghindarkan diri dari DE. Perlu diperhatikan pula bahwa pengobatan DE yang benar harus dimulai dengan konsultasi ke ahlinya, bila diperlukan dapat berlanjut ke pengobatan secara medis, jangan pernah berkonsultasi atau berobat kepada sumber yg tidak terpercaya. Apabila DE dapat berhasil diobati dan pasangan mampu menjaga keintiman mereka, maka hubungan seksual yang memuaskan dapat terus dipertahankan meski pasangan telah sampai pada usia lanjut.
Sumber : Pusat Studi Kesehatan Seksual LPPM UNS

By : Ristaking (Psychology Department Medical Faculty Sebelas Maret University)

I spend a fair amount of time explaining how to achieve a best-case scenario. But what’s a job seeker to do if she suddenly finds herself late for an interview? Or stumped by an interview question?

Certainly all those tips about how to prevent disasters are useless when you’re in the thick of one. So in this article I’ll tackle worst-case scenario survival tactics for job seekers.

I’m Going to Be Late for the Interview!

No matter how much you prepare, destiny still occasionally throws you a wild card.

Your car breaks down … you get splashed by a bus … your alarm fails to go off … you’re going to miss your job interview!

Take a deep breath. Collect your thoughts. You’re about to place a very important phone call. The recruiter will want to know why you are running late and a realistic estimate of how long it will take you to (safely) get to the interview. The recruiter will also be looking for a courteous apology.

The call might sound like this:

“Hi Rista. This is Rony. I have an 11 a.m. interview today for the editor position. Unfortunately, my car has broken down. I should be able to get there in 25 minutes if that’s OK. I apologize for the inconvenience and I wanted to inform you as soon as possible.”

Recruiters tend to be more accepting of incidents that fall under the “couldn’t be avoided” category. If you live in Indonesia like I do, traffic and bus drivers who speed up when they see mud puddles fall into this category.

Keep in mind that the recruiter is under no requirement to delay or reschedule the interview, but if you are polite and courteous, odds are you’ll get a second chance.

I Don’t Know How to Answer the Question!

If you get caught off guard by an interview question … stall.

How you stall is the key. Saying, “That’s a really good question,” in a slow, measured tone is much more effective than, “Ummm. Let’s see. Huh. That’s a stumper!”

Don’t make time for yourself by asking if you can “take a minute” or by coming up with a witty, tongue-in-cheek answer. This is not Hollywood Squares.

If you need more time, politely ask the interviewer to clarify a portion of the question. This is a very effective strategy, because often the interview questions that stop job seekers in their tracks are too vague to be approached logically. Asking for clarification can make a molehill out of a mountain.

I Forgot to Bring Copies of My Resume!

According to a recruiter colleague of mine, this happens far more often than you might think.

The key is to acknowledge it upfront and give a practical excuse — one that avoids the perception of laziness or lack of forethought.

“I just wanted to let you know that I planned ahead to bring copies of my resume, but my printer didn’t cooperate. It broke down on me. I can e-mail you a copy after the interview if that’s OK.”

And it should be OK. Chances are the recruiter will have a copy of your resume on hand. (Make sure you get e-mail addresses for all the interviewers who asked for a copy of your resume.)

I Called the Recruiter by the Wrong Name!

The average job seeker will meet anywhere from three to a dozen people during a job interview. Chances are that at some point he or she will call someone by the wrong name — sometimes repeatedly.

If you find yourself in this situation, address it and move on.

“Rista, I’m sorry. I’ve met so many great people today, and I’m trying to put names with all the faces. Rista, I apologize.”

Working the person’s name into the apology will help keep you from making the mistake again.

Now, get back to the interview, phone screen or whatever matter was at hand.

Similarly, if recruiters call you by the wrong name — which I’ve found to be far more common — simply correct them after they’ve completed their sentence and move on.

Mistakes during the job search are like mistakes in business. They should be addressed — not dwelled on.

Have a nice try…hope is work…

Regards,

Ristaking

By : ristaking (Psychology Department Medical Faculty Sebelas Maret University)

Every job candidate wants to stand out from the crowd, especially in today’s competitive employment market.

According to a recent report from the U.S. Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are about 6 unemployed workers competing, on average, for each job opening. That’s the highest level since the bureau started tracking these figures nine years ago.

If you’ve been searching for a new position and haven’t seen much success, you may be tempted to try more creative ways to get noticed. But beware: You can attract a prospective employer’s attention in the wrong way.

Instead of these types of over-the-top tactics, try the following ones, which made positive impressions on the executives we surveyed:

Ask Questions

Most job seekers research a firm before being interviewed there, but many stop digging once they show up for the meeting. When speaking with the hiring manager, ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of the position and company. One executive in the survey noted that a job seeker “turned the table and wanted to know all about me. The tactic worked.”

Some questions will come up naturally, but you also can prepare some for the hiring manager beforehand, such as “How did you start with the company, and what has your career progression been?” Or you might ask about the firm itself: “I recently read about the company’s new location in Europe. Does the firm have plans to continue expanding internationally?”

Dress Up

What you wear to can significantly influence an employer’s impression of you at job interview. If you show up to the interview dressed sloppily, even if the firm is known for its laid-back atmosphere, the hiring manager may question your professionalism or interest in the opportunity.

It may seem old-school, but it’s typically best to wear a clean, well-pressed suit whenever you meet with a potential employer. Keep accessories to a minimum and choose neutral colors so you’re not remembered as the candidate who wore bright pink.

Say Thanks

Following up with a well-thought-out thank-you note can distinguish you from other applicants after job interview because many job candidates forget this step. Reiterate your interest in the position and remind the hiring manager of one or two of your best selling points. Customize your note by referencing something from your conversation with the potential employer, such as your mutual love of Thai food. One way to truly stick out, according to an executive we polled: Send a handwritten thank-you note as opposed to email.

With fierce competition in the job market, you need to distinguish yourself from others who may seem similar to you on paper. By following the above advice, you can leave hiring managers with a lasting, positive impression, improving your chances of moving on in the interview process and ultimately securing the job.

So…hav a nice try about that…

Regards,

Ristaking

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